Boba nostalgia

Some reassuring boba news out of Southern California: in 2012, nearly three times as many boba joints opened than closed in San Gabriel Valley, according to LA Weekly.

"[This] once again proves that the tapioca ceiling hasn't yet been hit. What the malt shoppe was to American teens in the 1950's, the teahouse/boba shop is to Asian American teens in this millennium."

This not only intensifies my nostalgia for San Gabriel Valley and its endless boba options, but makes me wonder if I should seriously consider getting into the boba business here in D.C. I'm telling you, the competition would be nonexistent. The last time I had boba nearby, it was at Song Que, a Vietnamese deli in Eden Center -- which is great for Vietnamese food, but not great at all for boba. Which makes sense, since good boba is always at teahouses operated by Taiwanese people and not at Vietnamese, Thai or other Asian restaurants that co-opt boba into their menus but never get it quite right.

Milk tea at Song Que - not terrible, but not in the same league as teahouses in the Bay Area and Southern California

District of Boba

Rockville, MD - I've officially lived in DC for eight days, seven of which I spent thinking about Chinese food. Today, I finally did something about it and hopped on the red line to suburbia to check out A&J. Here's what happened:

• Got asked if I work at Whole Foods. (No. Minus 1.)
• Found good, cheap authentic Chinese food within a 15-mile radius of my apartment. (YES. Plus 10.)
• Found acceptable boba. (Eh, it wasn't awful. Plus 5.)
• Serendipitously passed a Petco on the way back to the metro. Because Petcos are hard to come by the city, this also gets +10. The kitty Patty gets a new scratching post while we wait for her old one to make its way from a moving truck in LA. Patty might give this +45.

Back to the boba. To be clear, the boba at A&J definitely doesn't make my Top 3 best boba of all time list (which, btw, I still stand by, three years later). But it's decent, reasonably priced at $2.55 and the tapioca is prepared with some degree of expertise. I give it a C+ overall.

And as an added bonus, no one wants to sit by the girl on the metro who's clutching a scratching post with one hand and a cup of boba with the other. Personal space is priceless. + infinity.

I lost track of the math, but to sum it up, it was a positive day. I kind of like D.C. Well, let's not get carried away. D.C is all right. Could be worse.

100% bomb

Rowland Heights - Until recently, Half & Half was like an urban legend - much talked about, yet never reviewed by the self-anointed Boba Queen. I remedied this a couple weekends ago while showing a college buddy around LA. And let me tell you, Half & Half is as good as they say. Their specialty, iced milk with honey boba, is a twist on standard milk tea and it is BOMB. Frothy and pleasantly sweet.

But I'm not going to lie. The best part about it was the cup. It's shorter and stouter than most boba cups. Kind of like the Danny DeVito of boba.

B boba

Los Feliz, Los Angeles - For months, I've relied on my go-to boba provider, Ten Ren in Chinatown, anytime I was too lazy to drive to San Gabriel Valley (where all the really good stuff is). But, as I've learned recently, it's always good to have a back-up plan. Especially one that's closer to your house.

Enter China Express on Hillhurst and Franklin. I've generally avoided this place because (1) It's called China Express, and (2) The words "China Express" are written in that stupid font everyone uses to signify that something is Asian.

But their boba is surprisingly decent, especially for being in a neighborhood that's not known for having Asian things. The milk tea is a solid B, though a bit on the sweet side. But considering I used to spoon up condensed milk as a kid, I didn't mind. And when I say "kid," I mean last week.

Almond blechhhhhhhh

Chinatown, Los Angeles - At the behest of a co-worker who, like me, is not normally fond of almond milk tea, I braved the 5 p.m. downtown traffic, only to get some concoction that falls somewhere between diluted almond extract (barf) and almond tofu i.e. xingren doufu (yum, but not in liquid form. In liquid form, it's barf.). My, that was a long sentence.

I don't know why I thought it'd be okay. I actually don't like almonds at all.

Judgy wudgy was a bear

Santa Monica - I'll admit that I pre-judged Urth Caffe boba before I tried it. Mostly because I'm highly skeptical of things that claim to be earthy and organic, and things that have attracted a celebrity following because they claim to be earthy and organic.

But the mango boba was not repulsive. It doesn't come close to making my list of Top North America Boba (TNAB), but it was a hair above average. Maybe a B-.

Incidentally, TNAB is topped by:
1. Verde (Mountain View, Calif.)
2. Guppy Teahouse (Cerritos and Rowland Heights, both Calif.)
3. Waku-Waku Tea House (Windsor, Ontario. The reason I had to call this list "Top North American Boba" and not just "Top U.S. Boba.")

I tried Guppy over 4th of July but was so exhausted from sitting on my ass watching fireworks - a very taxing activity - that I forgot to blog about it afterward. So I'm now recruiting interested parties who'd like to come with me to Rowland Heights or Cerritos for Guppy Round 2.

Volcanic fail

Westwood - The idea of drinking milk with tapioca makes me want to puke. Milk tea should taste like tea with milk (weird, I know), not MILK....milk. Someone pass that message along to Volcano Tea, which should consider renaming itself Volcano.