Giant boba

The boba gods must be smiling down on me today. First, I woke up to an email from my sister, who sent me this photo from Amsterdam:

When I asked her if she tried it, she replied like the true Northern California seasoned boba-drinker she is: Hell no.


A few hours later, I found out that Bubble Tea Licious, a boba truck, was parked a few blocks away from my work, so I had to check it out. By the way, I started this blog, called Bobalicious, in 2007. Bubble Tea Licious started in 2008. Just saying.

First thoughts: This boba is unnecessarily huge. I snapped a pic of it next to my 32-ounce Nalgene, for scale. I put my mini-Vaseline on the other side of it to further emphasize its hugeness. This is what that poor woman in Indonesia must've felt like when the doctor handed her her 19-pound newborn.

Additional thoughts: This is probably the best boba I've had in D.C., which is like saying it's the fastest blind, three-legged greyhound out of all the blind, three-legged greyhounds. Don't get me wrong, no one can serve up a bland sandwich (or "blandwich," as I like to say) better than this city, but when it comes to boba, it's a sad, sad desert. Bubble Tea Licious's black milk tea is a little too sweet, but the tapioca has good consistency and the flavor of the milk tea is decent. I'd give it an A- by D.C. standards, which is a B- by normal standards. Also, it cost $5, which is ridiculous. I'd much prefer a NORMAL-sized cup that costs no more than $3.50, per normal boba standards.

In short: Slightly above average, yet incredibly expensive. D.C. in a nutshell.

Bad news boba

The good news is the sandwich place I go to near work started serving boba. The bad news is it's not good. The good news is they also started serving bibimbap (it's a deli owned by a Korean couple). The bad news is the boba still sucks.

I give up on boba in D.C. It's just hopeless. I wish Half & Half would come here. And, as long as I'm wishing for things that'll never happen, I also wish In-n-Out would come here.

This is what bad boba looks like.

McBoba

I missed this exciting news when it came out last summer: McDonald's in Germany and Thailand are now serving boba, and it's being branded as the "McBubble." Personally, I think the "McBoba" has a better ring to it, but what do I know? I've just been the world's foremost expert on boba since 2007 -- which, as my two loyal readers know, is the year I started this blog.

I wonder if McDonald's in the United States will ever do this. I can't say I'm dying to try what I assume is a bastardized version of my favorite non-alcoholic beverage. But it would give boba some nice mainstream attention.

By the way, Google tried to correct my search of "McBubble" to "McDouble." No, fool, I meant McBubble. But that rhyme has the potential to make a great rap song, no? Or a fun jingle for McDonald's at the very least.

Thanks to a co-worker for tipping me off to this story. Co-worker shall remain nameless, lest I embarrass them by linking their name to my boba rants.

Boba nostalgia

Some reassuring boba news out of Southern California: in 2012, nearly three times as many boba joints opened than closed in San Gabriel Valley, according to LA Weekly.

"[This] once again proves that the tapioca ceiling hasn't yet been hit. What the malt shoppe was to American teens in the 1950's, the teahouse/boba shop is to Asian American teens in this millennium."

This not only intensifies my nostalgia for San Gabriel Valley and its endless boba options, but makes me wonder if I should seriously consider getting into the boba business here in D.C. I'm telling you, the competition would be nonexistent. The last time I had boba nearby, it was at Song Que, a Vietnamese deli in Eden Center -- which is great for Vietnamese food, but not great at all for boba. Which makes sense, since good boba is always at teahouses operated by Taiwanese people and not at Vietnamese, Thai or other Asian restaurants that co-opt boba into their menus but never get it quite right.

Milk tea at Song Que - not terrible, but not in the same league as teahouses in the Bay Area and Southern California